Everyone has come across conflicts in their lives. This can be conflicts about life, love or even small school projects! It mostly happens because everyone have different opinions and that's fine! That's just human nature!
However, when faced with conflicts, we usually don't think it through and usually end up in a worse situation.
Here is an example situation and we'l look at the possible outcomes.
Say Chris wants to sell her car. She recently moved into the city and found that her commute using public transportation is less expensive than the insurance, maintenance, and gas costs for her car. She checked the blue book and found that the car is worth about $4700 but would be happy to get close to $4200. Her next year's insurance payment will be due at the beginning of next month, so ideally, she'd like to sell the car before then. Mary's best case scenario is anything over $4500. Her walk away point is $4000.
Pat is looking to buy his first car. He's saved up about $3700. He recently made a big sale at work and expects an extra bonus check of about $1000 later in the month that he plans to apply to the purchase as well. In the meantime, he wanted to start looking at the local used car market since a group of his friends plan to go hiking next weekend, so he'd love to avoid the car rental fee. His father suggested he start at $3200 so he has room to negotiate. Pat's best case scenario is $3200. His walk away point is $4200.
There are four types of possible outcomes:
Lose-lose
In this situation, both sides don't benefit from the conflict. Both of them end up worse than before since they won't agree on the same terms. It is a negative situation and both people usually get hurt and don't feel good in the end. It's a 'If I'm going down, I am going to bring you with me' type of attitude. A simple example of a lose-lose situation is revenge. You think you are getting even and winning, but really you are just hurting yourself. Lose-lose is often the outcome to situations where the people involved want to win at any cost.
This is how the problem would end up like:
Win-Lose
This happens when you only care about yourself and your only goal is to make sure you get the better deal. You don't care if someone else suffers because of the outcome, as long as it gives you advantage. It is an attitude where everyone and everything is competition.If you choose this approach you may be jealous when
something good happens to someone close to you, or spread hurtful rumors about others. Healthy
relationships take all people’s needs and feelings into account and usually involve both give and take.
An example of a win-lose situation is when you force your friend to do your homework for you. You win, since you get your homework done, but your friend loses, because they have extra work to do.
This is how the problem would end up like:
Lose-Win
This happens when you surrender to what you want and let the other person get the better side of things. You compromise your values and standards to make others happy. Yes, there are times when it is okay to give in. When an issue is not important to you and no one is going to be hurt by the decision it is okay to let another win. But if you know the decision is going to harm you or another person, you need to stand your ground.
A common example is giving in to peer pressure or letting others take advantage of you.
Win-Win
Win-win situation is the best outcome for all conflicts. It is when both sides agree to the same terms and are both happy with the results. No one suffers from any loss from the situation. It is attitude that involves caring
about both the other person and about yourself. The solution may not be perfect, but it is the very least balanced so everyone gets what they want or need. It is the only one in which both sides end up feeling good.
If you love hanging out with little kids and your neighbor needs cheap babysitting, that is a win-win. If a couple decides that one partner will go do something he or she enjoys while the other gets some desired alone time, that's a win-win.
This is how the problem would turn out in this situation:
So when faced with conflicts, remember, the choice is in your hands. YOU choose where this problem will go to. Will both sides lose? Will only one win? Will both sides win? Or will the conflict not be solved at all?
